Our capacity to heal is in each other
We are inextricably linked to each other. The yoga tradition and other wisdom traditions all say that underlying our individualised perception of the world is oneness. The culture we are steeped in has seemed to indoctrinate us into believing that our health, our life, our experience is all to do with us as individuals. That we alone are responsible for our health and disease state. Even some aspects of the spiritual and wellness culture teach that ‘you create your own reality’ and therefore, in it’s most absolute sense, it can be deduced that if you are experiencing pain and suffering, on some level, it’s your fault. I don’t fully buy this. There are way too many other influences in our lives. Yes, we have a choice about how we deal with the challenges that we face but we didn’t necessarily magnetise those situations to us. I feel we start to head into victim blaming territory with this attitude.
How we connect with others and the quality of our relationships has a direct effect on how we feel in ourselves. You could be eating all the best organic food, drinking the purest of water, practicing yoga 2 hours a day, meditating for 40 minutes as the sun rises and sets but if you have an upset with your spouse or child, you can bet that your equanimity bubble will be affected. Our lives are not separate from others and therefore neither is our healing.
In the buddhist tradition, followers want to reincarnate until every last sentient being has reached nirvana. This isn’t just because they are supremely noble, but practical. At the ultimate level, we are each other. There is no separation.
So what does this have to do with healing? A lot. We have to seek assistance from other professionals, family members and wise counsel from friends. We rely on those “invisible” angels called farmers who feed us. The way we interact with colleagues, family and neighbours directly affects our energy and how we are present in the world. When things are off kilter in our interpersonal relationships we suffer. In the yoga tradition we can be guided by the niyamas in helping to shape the way we engage with the world around us. More on niyamas and how they shape our relationship to the outer world in a later post.
Please know that your healing is as much to do with those around you as it is with you. We heal deeply when in community, in partnerships, in families, in places where we feel we belong. Our neuroses and traumas are unique to us and yes we have to trudge the muddy waters and work through stuff, but at the basis of it all we are tender beings and want to be seen and loved. This fundamental aspect of our condition can be the basis of our healing.
If you have gone through difficulties with anxiety, depression, panic disorder, addiction, chronic pain, eating disorders, insomnia, grief and loss then you have a natural empathy for others that have experienced the same. Almost by default we judge less harshly, those people who have experienced the things we have felt in our own bones. In the current era of broadening acceptance of all forms life experience, may this area of healing receive the most compassion. Being sensitive to the needs of those around us as well as a deep compassion for ourselves can lessen the inflammation of an ailing and fragmented society.
Practically speaking, gift someone with your presence and understanding and then turn that soft, kind and powerful attention back onto yourself. You… we, are not alone.
